♥ --Thursday, June 28, 2007
PeterAsclepiusChoy IS MINE<3 muahahaha ! :D
actually i've wrote something on POP day!but the
comp jammed. then the post didnt got saved as
draft. :( 23rd, saturday is POP day.haha. fun.
but we waited for the VIP for super long. so tired.
sweat and run lots. hahaha. miss all sec4s. :)
i've got the comp already. yeahs. but still cant
play games. real real real sad lar. but its ok...
hahaha. cuz besides for band i have work. even if
i can play games, i cant play them for long too.
so ya. hahah. windows xp lor. bud cant download for
a better version cuz my bro said that the xp disc
isnt original. so ya. hahaha. sobs. nvms.
kk.. talk about ytd? ytd is wednesday. had band.
then mr lim isnt really satisfied with trumpet
section. ya. then felt veh bad. then yonglin came
to me and tell me that he's not playing for botanic.
then i asked him why. but he didnt answer, and walked
away. i feel so so so damn useless lar. like.. my
fault.suddenly feel so lousy and low moody. walked
with a long face. then i just didnt feel like talking
in a sudden. just went down and fall in. then had
that section report strength thing, then just turned
then see everyone's face also long long one. then i
smiled but their face still so long. then i dont know
what to say and what to do to make them smile. then
fall out, i feel my head is so heavy.. headache..
then went out of the school. man.. saw yl then i dont
know why i cried. idiot me. dont know lar just feel
so useless lar. then hazel and jiaen keep talking to
me, thanks!. they advice me lots. but i still dont
know what to do. action speaks louder than words.
can say but cant do. they keep asking me to force
the section to practice, and scold if they dont try
practicing. but i cant! i really cant do it. sigh.
but mood boosted in mac. :) suddenly feel fine and
smiled. yeahs. then went home.
today had national anthem. i was angry and sad. sigh.
yinjie came late, didnt have the time to tune and
warm up. then i was kinda angry lar. then he played
all wrong notes. then i super angry. after that i
went to find jiaen. then i couldnt stand it then i
cried. i cant stop it. grrr... i asked myself should
i really care?or shld i just hack care? think of not
going for band anymore that kind of feeling. i dont
wanna face everything. i wanna run away? is that so?
then i didnt wanna talk again. went up and keep my
instrument. then yinjie stood outside the band room
then he asked me whether i cried isit. then i didnt
answer him. im so bad, so silly. i feel so stupid so
useless. then i went down.
went to class then felt better cuz cheston makes me
smile oways. keep playing with me lar. then i feel
happy. thanks bird. but today our partnership ends.
we switch places. bird, i'll miss you. hahahaha.
he's so nice. i hit his head he dont complaint to me
even thou it hurts. ^^ im siting with grace now.
nadhira behind, man i dislike her lyk hell! but i'll
try to adapt to it. yeahs. hope grace wld be quiet
kind in class. ya im sure she'll be quiet. :)
then after school had sectionals. self sectionals.
i keep saying i hate my section. i dont wanna have
sectionals together. IM SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i hate myself for being that idiot. im really
stupid lyk fuck. sigh. then i dont know shld i play
1st or 3rd for disco kid. then jiaen and hazel asked
me to play 1st. sigh. but having self sectionals with
jiaen, hazel, pauline and mingren is not bad. yeahs.
suddenly feel mingren as a not bad person. at least
he tells me where im wrong. yeahs! then i played
trombone and eupho. i play eupho so sucky!!!! but i
play trombone so so lar. i wanna be a trombonist!
i keep asking jiaen whether im better than her sec1s
or not. she say ya. hahahah. then played trumpet again.
i can pitch high leh! wooo. ya.
IM SORRY YINJIE. I SHLDNT TREAT U DAT WAY. I JUST
REALLY HOPE U PRACTICE. IM SORRY. and sorry to my
section. sigh. im just too stupid to do all those.
i lost my feelings recently. reacted so hardly.
its all my emotional problems. i shldnt react that way.
im so stupid. i dont know how to face everyone in the
section. sigh.
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