cant blog cause something happened so suddenly..
im sad but still trying to be happy and smiling always..
yesterday went to hougang to have band..no sinfonia..so sad..
in the combine my family called me..but i didnt pick up the
phone..in fact i rejected the call and even switched off the phone.
after the combine i called home..my auntie told me that my
grandfather had passed away..i was so shocked and tears went
down..i hurry rushed home..he died in the morning..but i knew
it on the afternoon..he's living in my 2nd aunt's(mom sis) hse..
they dont even know how he died..in the morning they cant
wake him up..maybe midnight he had a heart attack?? or died
peacefully?? all dont know..just hope its a peaceful one..
i cried along the way home..then went to attend his wake..
in singapore casket the building there..it wasnt those under
the block..it was in a building..but i dont think it was a really
good idea..no tradition!..but no choice..walked round the coffin..
really wanna cry but have to control..
he's the only grandparent i've seen, known and love..
he came to my hse here to stay before..my dad used to scold him..
he had stroke..he's very very weak..i still remembered...
i was in primary school..i did project..needed plastercines..
then got one dark brown plastercine..then i told my mom it looked
like shit..then my mom let ahgong see..then he thought its food..
then he bite..that makes us all laugh...i can still remember it..
he's also laughing with us he told us that he thought thats food
and wanted to eat it.. mayb it lookes delicious..haha..
but its so sad afterall..i miss him so much..
the last time i've seen him was the chinese new year..6months..
so sad..
life can be so fragile..something might happen in a second later..
no one would know..sigh..love him lots..

today..went for his wake then at 1pm prepared food for the
others to eat in the afternoon..then seat dad's car ther..
its so long since i've last sat dad's car..more than 4mnths..
then went there..ate..then monk came..then they chanted..
i wanna say i miss and love u so much..although we are not
even close at all..u are my grandfather..

sighs cannt meet rachel up..she's sad..i cant even meet her..
im so useless sis..i cant leave the place yet..
sista should care for each other..but i dont think i cared alot..
just really hope she's fine..really wanna see her happy...

tomorrow is the day when the body would be burnt..
i dont know what tomorrow would be like..


12.04am
siighs..

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